Every subculture has a variety of personalities and temperaments, and the biker subculture is no exception. Now it's time to ask: Which one are you?
The Quitter
You’ll see this person on eBay or Craigslist with an ad that claims his wife didn’t approve of his brand new motorcycle, which is why he’s selling it for a really low price. Regardless if this is true or not, all you really care about is that he has the bike you want and you’d do anything to get it. Just make sure this fairly new, low-mileage bike lives up to your expectations in every respect.
The Newbie
This rider is both annoying and cute. Think of this rider as a newborn calf, still getting a feel for its legs and its surroundings. Don’t let their high energy levels weigh you down. You’ve been in their shoes before, so you’d understand how incredibly exciting and frightening the whole biker life is when you have absolutely no idea what to do or what to expect.
The Hardcore Commuter
Everything you’ll see in an Aerostitch catalog, this rider probably has it… along with a plethora of luggage in the market. It’s almost guaranteed that his bike will be a BMW sports tourer and he’ll ride in whatever weather, come hell or high water. He’ll only pause to rest or when it gets too difficult to see. Hardcore, I tell you.
The Adventurer
This rider scoffs at everyday heavy-traffic commutes. That’s not real riding to people like him. Real driving is getting from point A to point B by way of his motorcycle ONLY. Whether it’s the Eastern Islands or Salar de Uyuni, nothing is out of reach for this highly skilled rider. Unless you’re an Adventurer yourself, don’t ever expect to run into one because… your life is too dull.
The DIYer
Also known as the MacGyver of the open road. This rider will rebuild not only their own forks but also their own engines when he has to. Every rider carries his or her very own emergency roadside repair kit, but the DIYer will most likely have the holy grail of repair kits. If you know what’s good for you, you’d make friends with one because he or she will be prepared for anything — gas tank leaks, chain tension adjustments, tire blowouts… you name it!
The Harley Fanatic
Whatever your problem with the brand is, don’t ever bring it up when you’re around this type of rider. He or she will defend it to the grave. For them, it’s all about the American legacy. Off the top of my head, there are at least three groups of Harley die-hards: the Sportster, the Big Twins, and the V-Rods. But I’m sure there are more of them than I care to admit.
The Die-hard Anglophile
This rider lives for the classic British hardware… exclusively. You can forget about anything else, including the modern Triumphs and Norton rebirths. No doubt, the vintage British bike look just oozes sex appeal, but I don’t really get why they keep using an easily cracked rubber. Seriously. Why can’t they appreciate the fact that there’s great quality rubber on the market nowadays?
The Moto Guzzi Devotee
These are the riders who will tell you that you’re not a real biker unless you ride a Moto Guzzi. They are their own special group of riders, but a lot of Serious Commuters and DIYers also belong to this mix. If they’re not working, they’re most likely out there riding. It’s safe to say they now have iron tushies.
The Poser
You don’t have to be a rider to meet one. These guys like to show off their shiny new toys, which is why you see them posing next to their motorcycles around biker bars and gas stations. All they want to do is flex. But, ride? Not so much.
The Squid
These guys just give other riders a bad name. They have no regard for personal safety, which is why they keep their helmets strapped to their pillion seat instead of their heads. They also have no regard for other people’s safety, which is why they pull dangerous stunts at just about any time and any place. They’re most likely riding an inline-four Japanese sportbike way too fast on public roads in the middle of rush hour traffic. They want to look cool, I get it. But nobody’s too cool for protective biker gear. Don’t be like these guys.
